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Hi there, kid. Come on in and sit down. I understand that you’re getting ready to go out looking for a job. Good for you.

I understand also that you’re looking for some advice. That’s a good idea, too.

Before we get started, I want you to understand something important. Look at me, kid, and listen carefully. Everything I tell you here will be some variation on this one sentence:

Nobody owes you a job.

Neither our society, nor our government, nor your neighbors, nor your parents, nor your prospective employer owes you a job or money or benefits or vacation time or a coffee break. The person interviewing you is talking to you for one reason and one reason only: he believes that you might be able to help make his company better.

Do you think that’s harsh? Is it greedy? No, it isn’t, and here’s why.

Business is what moves money through our economy, and business is what creates wealth. I’m not talking about wealth as a lot of money for a few people. I’m talking about wealth as new and innovative products and services that become less and less expensive over time. I’m talking about wealth as money deposited by successful entrepreneurs in a bank, that’s then loaned to other businesses, that’s then used to buy machinery that makes new products that make lives better. I’m talking about wealth as wages paid by successful businesses, money that’s then used to educate the employee’s children, who grow up to make scientific discoveries that save lives. When you get a job, you become part of that. Be proud.

But back to your prospective employer. If you cannot help make your employer’s business better, he has no reason to hire you. If you are not an asset to his business, his business cannot compete as successfully in this amazing and beneficial process that we call the free market. So the person interviewing you will almost certainly choose the new employee who will benefit his business the most. It is your responsibility to make yourself the very best employee that he can find.

Now, there are fewer entry-level jobs out there than there ought to be. That’s due, in large part, to our legislators. Over the past several years, they’ve raised taxes and they’ve raised the minimum wage and they’ve forced some small businesses out of business and they’ve made it impossible for some others to even get started. They said they were helping people like you, but the fact is, they’ve taken away from you a lot of the options you would have had if they had just left things alone. Not only have your possibilities been limited, but there are more youngsters like you competing for each available position.

But you’re not in a position to do anything about that right now. Just remember it when you vote.

So let’s talk a little about going for your interview. Remember – the person interviewing you does not owe you anything. It is your responsibility to convince him that you are the very best person he can find for this job.

Bathe before you go. Use a deodorant. Do not wear perfume or aftershave. Brush your teeth and use a mouthwash. Be on time. In fact, be four minutes early.

Have a current resume with you, and your social security card and your driver’s license. You’d be surprised how many people show up without them.

Don’t slouch. Don’t sprawl. Sit forward in the chair and look interested, even enthusiastic.

That piece of metal you’ve got sticking through your tongue? Take it out. And the ring in your eyebrow and the one in your nose and the one in your lip, too. Yes, it’s your right to wear them, but that’s not the issue. The issue here is that that sort of thing grosses some people out. If you insist on wearing them, you will lose this position to another candidate who does not have holes poked in her face. Unfair? Tough.

When you go for the interview, do not sit down until you have been invited to do so. And even after you are seated, if you are introduced to someone else, stand up and shake hands.

And, for crying out loud, learn how to shake hands properly. That means, first of all, stand up. Look the person to whom you are being introduced in the eye. Smile. Take her entire hand in yours, not just the finger tips, and use a firm grip. Say something nice, and use her name. That skill alone will leave a better impression than most of your competitors will make.

Give some thought to what you will wear to the interview. The general rule is to dress a level up from what you will wear to the job after you’re hired. Dressing nicely shows some respect for the job interview process and for the interviewer. This is one of the few situations where it’s better to be a little overdressed than a little underdressed.

And one more thing before we quit for today: Don’t take the job if you know you can’t do it. Does that seem obvious? If you had a bad back, would you apply for a job that requires heavy lifting, and not mention your back until after you were hired, expecting them to make an exception for you? So, if the job you’re applying for requires you to work 9:00 to 5:00 every day, and you know you have to pick your daughter up at 4:00 every Tuesday for gym class, this may not be the job for you. If you look like a superb employee otherwise, and you let them know ahead of time, they may very well make an exception just because you were honest.

That’s about all we have time for today, kid, but there’s a lot more I want to tell you. Can you come back next week? You can? Good.

So go out there and do some interviews. Next week we’ll talk about how they went.

KsSmallBiz.com, February 8, 2006